Doubt
by M.Koffe
Summary: Does he really love him? Words can hurt, and sting and bruise and some can leave scars that never heal – wounds that never stop bleeding. Rated T, but with HEAVY SWEARING!


**I wanted to have this done by yesterday before I had to go to work, but that did not happen and I ended up finishing it today. :D **

**I hope ya'll like it.**

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"Don't you love me enough to trust me?"

"Maybe I don't."

The words stung so hard that they burned Dick's insides. The color had completely drained from his face. That bright sparkle in Dick's eyes that made Jason fall in love with him completely faded. Dick's mouth tensed into a frown, as he ripped his gaze from the man standing before him. He stole a step back, and without another word he quietly walked out the door.

Jason should have chased after him. Instead, for nearly ten minutes he just stood there in the hallway. Replaying what had just happened. Did those words really leave his mouth? Did Dick really just walk out on him?

The look Dick gave him was so heartbreaking.

They had always fought, all the time. The arguments have always been little, a few scattered throughout the day. However, nothing like this. Nothing as explosive as this.

After some pondering, Jason grabbed a beer from the fridge, and his pack of cigarettes. He made his way to the balcony and stared into the city. His eyes traced the bright lights of the buildings that reached up to the heavens with false elegance.

He knew that Dick would more than likely not come home that night, and he would not be surprised if he never came back. Even though he knew the truth, he could not help but feel lonely, and even a little scared. He did not want to lose Dick, the only person he had ever loved in a sexual yet personal way. The only person he knew could ever love him.

Heaving a heavy sigh and lighting his cigarette Jason fought with the urge of tossing himself off that balcony.

Dick sat on his bed, in his old room at the Manor with his brothers. Tim was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Damian had perched himself on the empty night stand.

"So are you going back?" Tim inquired, in a strung out voice as he tried to hide his anger.

"I -" Dick was barely able to start his sentence when Damian interrupted.

"I should go and fucking kill him." the youngest child threatened, his hands in fists over his knees.

"Damian, no..." Dick shook his head, "You're over reacting."

"He's not over reacting." Tim defended Damian, which was quite surprising. "He's just protective of you and I am too, and I hate to say it but I agree with him."

There was a knock on the door, and Bruce stepped in, "Alfred said you and Jason had got in a fight."

Dick nodded, and sat up from his laying down position. He was still a few shades paler than he usually is, and it was obvious that some force had thrown off his usual exited energy.

"Damian, Tim, I need to speak to Dick alone." Bruce ordered, and the two siblings reluctantly obeyed and stepped out of the room. Bruce walked over to Dick's bed and sat by him. "What happened?"

"He had just got home from his patrol and I had already been home for a few hours." Dick began to explain, exhaustion was thick in his voice. "He always gets home after I do, and he was just so angry at whatever it was that happened to him. I tried to get him to calm down, and tell me what happened but he wouldn't. I asked him if he loved me enough to trust me, and he said he..." Dick's voice caught in his throat, he did not want to repeat what he was told, it made him feel uncomfortable and hurt and he did not want to relive the event.

"I understand." Bruce put his hand on his eldest son's shoulder, and began to carefully pick the words for his next sentence. "Stay here for as long as you need to."

"Thank you, Bruce." Dick gratefully threw his arms around Bruce's shoulders. "I don't think I'm going to go back for a while -"

Damian swung open the door, "Jason will arrive here in three minutes." he announced.

"Maybe less." Tim added, "He sounded intense on the phone, so maybe he'll be here in a few seconds."

"What did you two do?" Dick withdrew from his hug as turned his attention to the pair at the doorway.

"We told him you got in an accident on the way here and died." Damian revealed, with a proud look on his face.

"And that he needed to get here as quick as possible." Tim concluded.

"Why would you do that?" Bruce stood up from the bed, " And you did nothing to stop him, Tim?"

"It was my idea." Tim unveiled, "To see if he really loves Dick."

"Dick stay in your room," Bruce decided as he heard a crash from the hallway, he opened the door and peeked out to see that Jason had arrived.

Jason was a category four hurricane of emotion as he stormed down the hall knocking over everything in his way. Yanking down paintings and throwing them across the hall, and kicking over plants.

Bruce stepped into the hall with Tim and Damian, leaving the bedroom door ajar for Dick to hear what was going on the hall clearly.

"You are all lying!" Jason roared, his emotions were going haywire. He was not sure what he was feeling, or what he needed to feel or if he was angry or depressed or some fucked up mixture of both. "There is no way he can be dead!"

"Jason you need to calm down." Bruce approached Jason, and took him in an embrace. Jason's body locked up from the foreign touch of his ex-mentor, and he held his breath. Waiting for the man to let go, but he did not. Instead Bruce whispered, "I'm so sorry." into Jason's ear.

"You are fucking lying!" with each word that passed his mouth the volume in Jason's voice increased. He shoved Bruce off him and punched his fist into the wall. The jagged edges from the wall cut up his knuckles and bruised his fingers. He collapsed to hiss knees, holding his bloody hand tight against his chest.

Tim walked up to him, and put an arm around Jason's back, "It will be okay..."

"No it wont!" Jason screamed. "Just because your boyfriend came back to life after he died, doesn't mean mine will..." he chocked back a sob that was beginning to rise in his throat. The thought of never seeing Dick again hurt more than any gun shot wound, because it would never heal. "Don't tell me it will be okay!"

Turning his head to look at Tim, Jason growled, "You have no idea the kind of love I have for Dick! He is the only person I have ever loved, and you are going to me everything is going to be okay!" with his unhurt hand he punched Tim in the face.

Tim leaped back, holding his face in his hands. Dick appeared behind Tim and helped him steady himself. Once he was sure Tim was okay, he stepped around him, and then put his hand out toward Jason who was staring up at him with a sad eyes, "I think we need to talk."

Jason did not say anything, he simply took Dick's hand and the pair walked into the the bedroom and shut the door. Dick guided Jason on the bed, and sat him down. Dick sat on the floor and laid his arms on Jason's thighs.

"They told me you were dead." Jason uttered, in a low voice.

"By the time I found out they did it, there was nothing I could do about it." Dick noticed Jason's eyes, he had never seen them look that way. So defeated, and unsure. "But what you said back there, was really sweet. So, do you really love me Little Wing, or do you just like the way the word love feels in your mouth and every time you said it to me was a lie."

Jason said nothing, he did not know what to say and even if he did his emotions would not let him let him speak. He put his hands on top of Dick's and sat there for a moment, but a moment was to long for Dick and he slipped his hands out from underneath Jason's, stood up, and turned away.

"...no..." Jason reached out and grabbed the sleeve of Dick shirt.

Dick turned around, and saw something he never thought he would, a single tear rolling down Jason's face. "Jay...I'm sorry I -"

Jason hopped off the bed and put his arms around Dick, he set his chin on Dick's shoulder, stuttering, "I – I thought – you were..."

"Ssshh." Dick stroked Jason's back. "It's okay, I'm here."

"I do love you, I do, I do, I do," Jason shut his eyes tightly. "Som—Sometimes I just...I..."

"Look at me, Jason." Dick ordered.

Jason lifted his head, and stared into Dick's eyes. With his thumbs Dick wiped the tears off Jason's cheeks, he placed a small kiss on the his lips, "Do you really love me?"

Those words were enough to transform Jason's heartache into an outburst of rage,"HOW CAN YOU FUCKING SAY THAT?" he roared, with more tears cascading down his face. "MAYBE YOURE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM BE CAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS DOUBTING ME!"

Dick looked away, speaking softly, "I never had reason to doubt you, until today."

"Bet you were fucking looking for one." Jason spat, wiping his face with the sleeve of his jacket.

Dick looked like he was about to start crying. Tears welled up in his reddening eyes, "Jay I'm sorry..."

"Don't you dare start crying!" Jason threatened, "Don't you dare! I admit, I'm sorry about what I said earlier in the night, I am sorry I made you doubt me!" he grabbed Dick by the arms, his grip so tight it would surely leave bruises, "This is why I can't fucking tell you, because I killed someone – again! And I know word will get back to you, and I know you'll fucking hate me for it, because I love you and I hate to see you disappointed in me!"

"Jay I... I'm not -" Dick set his head on Jason's chest, he could hear the other man's powerful heartbeat pounding wildly against his chest. "I'm not disappointed in you, I'd never be disappointed in you, because I love you. I love everything about you."

Jason pulled away from Dick, he turned around and fell to his hands and knees. Sobbing. Dick ran to him immediately, and placed a warm kiss on Jason's forehead to calm him down. He wrapped his arms around him, "I love you, Jason." he assured. "Everything is going to be okay, we're both alive, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

Jason quietly sobbed into Dick's shirt, he could feel the fabric dampen with tears. A few tears escaped from Dick's eyes as well, he had never seen Jason that way and the sight of him so broken was beyond depressing. Jason gazed up at Dick, giving him a weak smile, and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm glad you're alive."


End file.
